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Tito’s tweets now to come with state-approved subtitles – Presidency

SATIRE | By Kalim Rajab

Magoebaskloof – Following a Cabinet directive, Finance Minister Tito Mboweni’s tweets will now be disseminated from his official account with government-approved subtitles running along the bottom. This, according to the Presidency, is to allow for greater transparency and be in the interests of alliance unity. 

According to the Cabinet spokesperson, “The Minister is often misunderstood. For example, when he tweeted he didn’t agree with the decision to continue the tobacco ban, from a careful reading of his tweet anyone would conclude that what he meant was that he did, in fact, agree. 

“Similarly, when he tweeted “I’m no longer interested in pouring public funds into dysfunctional SOEs”, by implication he was saying he’d be in favour of pouring public funds into functional SOEs. Since loyal cadres don’t acknowledge the presence of any level of dysfunction in SOEs, the only logical conclusion a learned reader would arrive at is that the honourable Minister intends to continue supporting all SOEs. Such nuance often doesn’t come across in tweets and so these subtitles will clarify the position for the nation.” 

Minister Mboweni is understood to have been reluctant to agree to the government subtitles being added, but backed down after Cabinet threatened to stop paying for his airtime vouchers, which would have effectively put an end to his tweeting. – THE LOCKDOWN REPORT