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Apathy amongst populace to news that DA disbanded two weeks ago due to having nothing new to add

SATIRE | By Kalim Rajab

Johannesburg – A general air of malaise seems to have attached itself to news that the Democratic Alliance has voluntarily disbanded. Not only that, it was announced two weeks ago, but no media turned up to the Zoom call.

A terse statement issued by the party leadership said, “It is with a great sense of disappointment that Fedex [the Federal Executive] took the decision to disband after realising that the party had nothing new to add to the current national discourse. Or any future national discourse.”

Public interest in the party had been dissipating for some time now. Insiders say that the final straw occurred when even party officials were unable to pick out interim leader John Steenhuisen’s photo out from a lineup, most often confusing him with that of musician Dave Matthews. In fact, the only DA video which had gone viral in the last few weeks had been a one posted by Steenhuisen where he is seen to be ranting “Rage! Rage against the dying of the light!”

Said a former chief whip of the party’s disbanding, “It’s the wives [of the DA MPs] I feel for the most really – they’ve spent an absolute fortune on dresses for the upcoming inauguration party for the new leader, and now they’re going to have to cut them up and make facemasks. It’s a real shame.” – THE LOCKDOWN REPORT