SATIRE | By Kalim Rajab
Pretoria – The Department of Home Affairs has gazetted new divorce regulations to streamline the process of legal separation, in anticipation of a flood of requests following the lockdown being partially lifted later this week.
The new regulations will allow for divorce to be completed within the day of filing with the High Court, without the need for detailed settlement terms, and may be completed online.
“We want to make this process as painless as possible” an unnamed Home Affairs official was quoted as saying. “The situation as it currently stands, after over 35 continuous days of lockdown, is a pressing one. We appreciate that it was never envisaged for couples to spend such a continuous period in each other’s company, especially without resort to alcohol, cigarettes, legal amounts of marijuana or live sporting events.”
According to social welfare experts close to the situation, the Presidency initially considered announcing the creation of a new Marital Assistance Grant, to cover the cost of antidepressant medication needed where spouses were forced to converse with each other for the first time in years, in the R500bn emergency relief package unveiled last week. In the end, the fast-track divorce solution was touted as the most equitable solution. – THE LOCKDOWN REPORT